They say never work with animals or children. But what if those children are yours, and that work is a whānau business? Sharon Stephenson meets some New Zealand mums who are more than happy to work alongside their kids.
Beth Forrest, 37, and Dr Brigid Forrest, 67
Can you imagine if your daughter was also your boss? Dr Brigid Forrest doesn’t have to.
The co-founder of Marlborough winery Forrest Wines, which she started with her scientist husband John in 1988, has reported into her daughter Beth, the company’s CEO, for the past five years.
“There was never any expectation that our three children would work in the family business,” says Brigid, who retired from medicine a year ago.
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Particularly their only daughter who was 2 years old when her parents started the vineyard following seven years in the US and Australia with John’s job.
“I grew up in the vineyard but when I was 15 I rebelled and decided to study geography at Otago University,” says Beth. She eventually came around to the family business, chasing her degree with a wine-making course in Australia. After seven years of touring the world as a winemaker, Beth returned to Marlborough and in 2018, when the winery CEO left, her parents asked if she’d like the job.
“Beth earned this role, she was no token appointment,” adds Brigid, who these days works mainly in the cellar door. “She’s my boss but we’re very collaborative and although we do see each other two or three times a day, we each have our areas of responsibility.”
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“We don’t judge each other if one of us looses our rag, which it’s easier to do with family than with staff!”
Beth, who lives in Nelson with husband Blair McFarlane and is stepmother to two teenagers, spends a few nights each week in her childhood bedroom, rather than commuting back to Nelson.
“We’re a close family and although the business is central to our lives, we’re pretty good at leaving it at the door. We have a holiday home in the Sounds, which is our real escape – that’s our happy place where we can all get away from work.”
When it comes to the winery, their close bond helps. “We know each others strengths and weaknesses really well and will step in whenever the other needs it,” says Brigid. “Plus, we don’t judge each other if one of us looses our rag, which it’s easier to do with family than with staff!”
In fact, Beth calls her mother her “little book of calm”. “Mum is one of my best friends and the first person I go to with an issue – she’s calm and collected and has pretty much seen it all in 30 years in this industry. She’s also strong and courageous and I’m privileged to be able to carry on the work that she and my father started.”
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Kate and Toby Hutchison: “We have a lovely symmetry when we’re working the floor together.”
Kate Hutchison, 55, and Toby Hutchison, 20
It’s not too much of a stretch to say that Toby Hutchison was born into the hospitality industry.
“I was seven months pregnant with Toby when we opened this place,” says Kate Hutchison of Wellington’s Capitol Restaurant, which she started with her husband, chef Tom Hutchison, in 2002.
“And I was peeling potatoes in the kitchen when I was 3 or 4 years old,” recalls Toby.
But growing up, Kate wasn’t keen on Toby, or his sister Lili, 18, following their parents into the industry.
“I wanted them to focus on their studies so I didn’t encourage them to do after-school or holiday work in the restaurant.”
But when Toby’s biomedical science degree was interrupted by Covid, he asked to do a couple of shifts.
“I had the choice of either the kitchen or front of house but enjoyed the latter so a year ago I went full time.”
Having grown up in the industry, Toby understands it, says Kate. “I call him a mini me because we have a similar personality, brains that work the same and love food, wine and making people happy. We have a lovely symmetry when we’re working the floor together.”
It wasn’t all plain sailing, though: “In the beginning, I found it hard to take orders from Mum,” says Toby.
“I’d say something like, that’s not how you carry a plate and his reaction was not what you’d expect from an employee,” laughs Kate. “But as Toby’s confidence and skill has grown, he’s learnt how to take criticism and learn from it.”
While Toby was initially aware that he landed the gig because of his parents, he’s since moved on from that.
“I do feel as though I’ve earned my position and have valid skills to offer.”
By the same token, Kate admits she and Tom work hard not to show any favouritism towards their only son.
Her hope is that at some stage Toby will return to university to finish his degree but she also wouldn’t mind if he took up offers of work in London and Brisbane.
“I know how lucky I am because soon Toby might be off seeing the world. But we get to spend time with each other every day instead of just catching up for dinner now and again, which often happens when your kids get older. Having this time with Toby is precious.”
Kauri Finlay
Jyotsana Karl (right): “We’re very different people – I’m more chilled whereas Neha (left) is a perfectionist.”
Neha Stokes, 31, and Jyotsana Karl, 57
“As a child, Mum would say to me, your mother should be your best friend,” says Neha Stokes.
Which is exactly how it turned out for Stokes and her mother Jyotsana Karl who both work in the family business, FxMed, a functional and integrative medicine company that was founded by Karl’s husband and his brother in 2013.
Stokes is the GM of the retail and online platform of the company, while her chartered accountant mother is the financial controller.
But that’s not the only family on the 50-strong payroll: there’s also an uncle, cousin and Stokes’ husband, Mitch Stokes. The couple’s son, 9-month-old Aadi, often comes to work too.
“People say, how can you spend all your time with family but I can’t imagine working any other way,” says Stokes. “In Indian culture, family is number one so working in the family business feels natural to me.”
She wasn’t always so convinced. “I moved to Australia to study and wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew I wanted to prove myself.”
“I told her, whatever path you follow, you have to be happy,” adds Karl who came to NZ in 1990 following an arranged marriage.
“Mum helped me change my thinking and showed me the bigger picture – that I could still prove myself but also support my family.”
Today the duo work out of separate offices in Auckland’s Greenlane but have lunch together most days and Stokes is a regular visitor to her parents’ dinner table.
That harmonious approach extends to their working lives.
“We don’t really have any conflict at work,” admits Jyotsana. “We’re very different people – I’m more chilled whereas Neha is a perfectionist who puts a lot of pressure on herself. I’m always telling her, don’t worry, things will work out. But I’m so proud of Neha, she has a great management style and her team loves her.”
For her part, Stokes is thankful to her mother for instilling in her and her brother Sohum, 18, “the Indian values of hard work, resilience and strength”.
“Mum is my biggest supporter who guides, challenges and inspires me every day. She’s so nurturing not only to me but also to our international staff, many of who don’t have family in New Zealand. Mum cares for them too, it’s who she is.”
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“Mum is still my first point of contact with any issue,” says Craig.
Craig Smith, 51, and Jean Smith, 70
One of Craig Smith’s earliest memories is playing the “how much is that house” game with his mother, real estate agent Jean Smith.
“As kids, my sister Lisa and I would help Mum at open homes and at her New Lynn office,” says Craig who now manages the same office for Auckland real estate firm Barfoot & Thompson.
Jean, who emigrated from Scotland in 1973 with her late husband and Craig, then a baby, has worked for Barfoot & Thompson for 43 years. She now manages the Mt Albert branch while her daughter Lisa, 43, works for the Mt Eden branch.
“Family dinners tend to involve a lot of shop talk, which can be hard for the non real estate partners,” says Jean “But there was never any pressure for my kids to enter this business.”
After a BA from Auckland University, Craig took the banking route, spending 15 years working his way up the BNZ food chain from teller to business lending manager.
But when 2010’s GFC rolled around and wages and bonuses were cut, Craig decided to join his mother and sister selling houses for Barfoot & Thompson.
“I went from a salary of $131K to earning $21K in my first year in real estate,” says Craig who’s married with an 11-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son. “But I knew from watching Mum that the harder you work in real estate, the more you can earn.”
Jean also encouraged her son when he questioned whether he’d made the right move. “Mum saw my potential and encouraged me to work hard. And she lent me money when things got tough.”
Today, the duo admit to having a friendly rivalry between their branches in terms of sales and rentals.
“But Mum is still my first point of contact with any issue, as she is for a lot of the younger agents because she’s seen it all in 43 years and her experience in this industry is gold,” says Craig.
“It’s a two-way street,” adds Jean. “My kids help me with things like Instagram and Facebook. I love that I get to spend so much time with them and that we have so much in common.”