David Smith
Published 25 mins ago: June 5, 2023 at 4:21 pm
Blizzard is going to unleash a Diablo IV villain upon an unsuspecting Sydney packed with tourists and Vivid stragglers.
It’s understood at this point that Blizzard has given the teams in charge of marketing Diablo IV a budget comparable to the GDP of a small country. Case in point, Blizzard ANZ’s upcoming Australian marketing stunt.
Its plan is basically to open a bunch of portals to Hell in Sydney for fun. Not really; they’re not REAL hell portals. For the purposes of this article, however, I’m going to take the idea completely seriously.
From June 6-7 (that’s Tuesday and Wednesday this week), Sydneysiders will be able to catch the following harrowing events occurring in their city:
- A blood-red beacon pointed into the night sky, placed at the restaurant Mary’s Underground, luring them down to Circular Quay
- Dark rites will begin around Circular Quay and into the CBD as devotees wander the city streets, red smoke billowing in their wake
- If you’re trying to catch a train, you’re going to be waylaid by Lilith and her followers performing a Hell’s choir (getting in commuters’ way is obviously a hell-worthy tresspass)
- Lilith herself will stalk the streets of Sydney, looking for followers but presumably just freaking people out
All of this seems like a standard Tuesday night at Circular Quay and is also thoroughly inadvisable from a practical standpoint. Why are we letting the Daughter of Hatred wander around Sydney like she owns the joint? They’re not going to let us take a legendary war hammer on the train to put a stop to this. This is to say nothing of casting hellish rites along Circular Quay, already home to lesser demons like Alan Jones. It feels like we’re asking for trouble.
Anyway, if you live in Sydney, love Diablo and would like to be held in thrall to the mother of all evil, get on down to Darling Harbour, I guess. Or stay home and play Diablo IV to your heart’s content when it finally launches tomorrow — we hear it’s pretty good.
Diablo IV is out now in early access on PC, PlayStation and Xbox platforms.
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