Coach’s egregious slap down of NRL star

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According to studies, approximately 8.7 million different living organisms exist on planet earth and Ricky Stuart has offended pretty much all of them.

But despite this, he’s always on the lookout for a new chunder-button to push, a feat he managed to achieve with the egregious resting of Jarrod Croker.

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By giving his skipper a spell purely for festive purposes, Stuart has disrespected the Tigers, the NRL and the competition’s integrity, not to mention fans, broadcasters and unlucky Croker devotees with FIFO duties.

But the one person Stuart’s decision disrespects most – other than that bloke who updates his SuperCoach once a month – is Jarrod himself.

If you haven’t heard, Croker has been tactically shelved for tonight’s match against the Tigers, with Stuart delaying his milestone 300th game to ensure it can be celebrated in Canberra where the champagne can be served at a refreshing -150 degrees.

It’s a wonderful gesture for a deserving player who’s as popular as a beer-flavoured nipple, but it’s the last thing Croker wants.

Everyone agrees there’s nobody more worthy of a home coronation than the mighty Raiders skipper, especially after surviving 14 years at Canberra and nine under Ricky.

In an era where players share themselves around like a Netflix log-in, his 300-game achievement for the Green Machine is a tulip in a garden of mercenaries and ambulance chasers.

A salt-of-the-earth country fella with rotten luck, Croker has recaptured his position in the top grade after chronic knee and shoulder injuries, all while manfully clawing his way out of NSW Cup with football rather than sipping pre-mixes on the roof.

While reports state Croker is comfortable with the decision to be rested, everyone knows he’s not.

That’s because the Goulburn product is not only the ultimate team-first guy, he’s also the ultimate 30-something guy.

At 32 years of age, the big black birds are circling in the sky over Croker’s career and it’s only a short time before his focus shifts away from rugby league to golf and slow-cooking.

Add to this his knocky knees and recent affinity with the anonymous hellscape of reggies, and you can understand why he’d rather accept draining his 300 celebratory froth-dogs at Campbelltown Leagues instead of Mooseheads.

Many claim there’s only one way Stuart’s decision could be any more disrespectful, and that would be if he replaces Croker with Alan Jones.

Nevertheless, many have leapt to the coach’s defence, pointing out the rarity of a one-club 300 gamer and that he’s merely requesting Croker retire again just like he asked him to in 2021.

But at the very least, with the team 6-1 since the skipper’s return and the backline suffering an injury crisis, Stuart should’ve shown some respect and ruled him out with a contrived injury.

If he had his time over, the coach probably would’ve sent his captain for a stint in the military with General Soreness, or even just followed Newcastle’s lead by sending him to Bali.

With the Origin-impacted and finals-chasing Raiders needing all hands on deck – even if those hands can’t hit an inside ball target from three feet – the decision to bench Croker has the potential for blowback.

What if the Raiders lose and miss the top eight? What if Croker’s replacement stakes an undeniable case to retain his spot? And what if Covid-20 breaks out next Monday and Canberra goes in to lockdown?

And most importantly, where does resting Croker leave NSW?

With our centre stocks in dwindling supply, surely he’s in the mix for a 12-minute cameo as hooker.

– Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.