Well I sure feel sorry for former President Donald Trump.
Just the thought of walking around in one of those orange jumpsuits scares the tar out of me.
Oh sure, the indictment against him that was unsealed Friday tallies up 37 federal charges related to the classified documents he carted home.
It’s a lot to think about, but all I can hear in my head is …
… blah blah blah …
I want to know more about these jumpsuits.
The legal issues facing Benedi- um, Donald Trump are one thing.
It just makes me wonder about other things.
I know the bright orange clothes we often see jail inmates wear are probably for high visibility, should one of those sporting the basic prison fashion make a run for it.
But seriously. Orange?
That color looks so bad against my skin tone.
And I’ll tell you another thing: I do not like one-piece clothing to cover both my top and my bottom, from neck to ankle.
I don’t want a jumpsuit or a romper (Heh. What a silly word!) in any cloth or adorned in any way.
Sorry, Elvis. You’re still the king, and I’m the jester.
I know these horrible clothing creations allegedly are comfortable, simple, light and easy to wear.
I don’t like trying to get into them or out of them.
Besides, how on earth can you get one that’s even close to the proper size?
“Yes, sir, I’ll need a jumpsuit that’s 2XL at the waist, 1XL at the shoulders, and L for the legs.”
I mean, I don’t know what sizes these things come in, but I’m pretty sure I’d either lose my chest or look like the middle of my jumpsuit is an oversized orange about to pop the very threads of the material.
Sure, the Hulk did that, but he was green — a much nicer color than orange!
I guess Trump has bigger problems than an orange jumpsuit in his future (or not).
At the least, should he put one on, he’d better not call it a “romper.”
They’ll laugh him out of the chow line.
Penny Weaver is the editor of the Edwardsville Intelligencer, a sister paper to The Telegraph. She can be reached at [email protected].