Liam Knight’s return to the South Sydney Rabbitohs first grade outfit has been quite the journey.
The prop has endured a torrid string of injuries in the past few years, consequently battling substance abuse issues.
Playing for the Bunnies’ NSW Cup side last year, Knight’s plan to re-establish himself as an NRL player took an unfortunate turn after an illegal tackle saw the 28-year-old suffer a grade two MCL tear, full ACL tear and damage to his meniscus.
For the Alice Springs product, it marked the start of a long, challenging and transformative period.
On the debut episode of the Ebbs and Flows podcast, Knight opened up on the initial injury and the issues that stemmed from it.
“I couldn’t watch [the tackle] for a while. I used to just f*****g burn inside. I couldn’t watch it and I had to deal with that,” he said.
“I’d worked so hard to get back there. I’d had like three surgeries in the offseason [two reconstructions and a clean] and I’d just started to feel like I got some momentum – I was back in the side, playing alright.
“And then, bang.
“I lost a bit of myself and the last nine months have been a bit of a journey.”
Watch the first episode of The Sporting News/YKTR exclusive podcast, Ebbs and Flows.
Knight has since made a successful return to the top grade, playing 25 minutes off the bench and notching 106 run metres against the Melbourne Storm in Round 10.
The following week, Knight was named on the bench once again and enjoyed increased minutes with a similar output.
Whilst his footballing career is back on track, Knight only truly understood how much the sport dominated his life once it was taken away from him.
“I had attached my whole identity to football – it was all I wanted to do,” he said.
“I had blinkers on, I was in the football bubble. Nothing else really mattered to me.
“My life was like 95 per cent football and everything outside of that I just attached myself to the image of football…and that was gone.
“I was like: ‘Well what do I do now? Who am I?’ … all these big questions I just hadn’t asked and I didn’t really want to answer.
“I just started partying and I got a bit lost in that scene.”
Knight ultimately decided to address his issues with alcohol and drugs, checking himself into a rehabilitation clinic.
The life-changing call to sign up for the 28-day program – which involved his phone being taken from him for the opening eight days – was not a simple one.
“It wasn’t exactly a light decision,” he said.
“[The idea that] I can’t talk about feelings and all the s**t that sort of comes along with it probably contributed to me bottling it up. But it was pretty freeing to be honest.”
Initially, it was difficult for the former Raiders and Sea Eagles player to overcome the stigma involved with seeking help for addiction.
But according to Knight, the face-to-face nature of rehab helped with that.
“The biggest thing was the stigma. I don’t want to call myself a junkie,” he explained.
“I’ve had issues with alcohol and drugs for a long time, but you walk in there and you wouldn’t even know – they are like normal people. There are some wealthy, successful people.
“There’s obviously a range – big issues, small issues, everyone’s issues are their issues.
“And people were talking about their s**t in front of other people they don’t really know. Like, that was crazy to me.”
Rabbitohs and QLD Maroons star Jai Arrow is a close friend of Knight’s, supporting him throughout his recovery journey.
He notably made the trip to Wagga Wagga a few weeks ago to support his mate as he made his return via the NSW Cup competition for Souths.
The forward also happily revealed that his teammate’s time in rehabilitation has brought about tangible and sustainable change.
“I remember him getting out – I went to his graduation. It was pretty cool,” Arrow told Ebbs and Flows.
“But there’s one thing he probably won’t say that he should be proud of – he’s the only one out of his group that hasn’t relapsed yet.”