Key Points
- Parenting approaches vary among cultures. Some are strict, while others are like your best friends.
- On occasions such as Mother’s Day, the roles of parents in particular mums are being highlighted.
- Social worker and mum Flores O’Donnell stresses the importance of open communication between parents and children.
Blending cultures
Flores O’Donnell’s two children were born overseas – her eldest was born in the Philippines, while the second, was in Singapore.
Mrs O’Donelle was a native of the Philippines, born into a modest family. While her husband, Richard was born and bred in Australia.
The mum shares that since it’s just her and her two kids living together in Gold Coast while her husband spends more time overseas for work, it’s a challenge to be taking on the role of disciplining her children.
“I’m lucky my kids are aware of how I was born with a wooden spoon in my mouth.”
“They knew of my family’s hardship back home [in the Philippines],” Flores reveals.
O’Donnell’s children have an almost 10 years age gap and that gave the opportunity for the parents to give undivided time for each child while they were growing. Credit: Flores O’Donnell
‘Strict parenting’
The Philippine-born mum admits that she is strict in the upbringing of her children.
“I don’t really spoil them. My kids get it when I look at them the first instance, that’s one count already.
“When they hear me raise my voice, that would be the second count. For the third one, they’ll be hearing me speak in Filipino and they know I’m already mad at that point.”
Flores explains that despite being strict she keeps an open communication with her children, the eldest now 21 and the youngest, 11.
“We are very open to one another. They can share with me whatever their thoughts and feelings are,” the mum stresses.
She believes that instilling values of respect for others and discipline are crucial aspects of her parenting approach in raising her Aussie children.
“They know that discipline and being respectful are very important. I also give them tasks as an opportunity for them to think independently.”
Beyond discipline, the mum, who loves surfing, knows too well the importance of having fun with her kids.
Flores with her children, Janea (right) and Joshua (left) in one of their travels to Japan. Credit: Flores O’Donnell
Understanding parenthood
The biggest challenge of raising children is having that “sole responsibility of disciplining them and setting boundaries for their own good”.
The maternal O’Donnell, a former Food and Beverages Manager, is used to travelling overseas and being away from her parents prior to having her own family.
When she gave birth to her firstborn, she had to give up her work to focus on her child.
“I was used to not having my parents around me when I was young, and I wanted to break that cycle. I wanted to always be present for my children.”
Moving to Australia after living in the Philippines, Macau and Singapore then, gave Ms O’Donnell the opportunity to care for her children.
“I have no one to depend on. Yes, I have my in-laws but they have their own lives to tend to as well.”
“I changed career, from the busy hotel industry to doing casual social work, I was able to look after my children and do the things I love to like arts and surfing.”
‘As a mum, you have to have time for yourself. It’s important for your own joy as you cannot give love from an empty cup. You have to show love to yourself too.’ Credit: Flores O’Donnell
Self-love
“Raising children is no easy task. It takes a lot of learning too as parents.”
The social-worker mum reiterates that as parents “we want what’s best for our children”, adding that “to be able to give that to them [our kids] we have to have that love for ourselves too”.
“We can only give what we have. So it’s important for parents, in particular for mothers to have that time for yourself.”
“Do whatever makes you happen. Find time to do what you love to do – be it reading a book, painting, arts or gardening.
Flores with a couple of her Filipino surfing friends in Gold Coast. Credit: Flores O’Donnell
“For me, surfing has given me that spiritual awakening. Anything that has to do with nature gives me that peace and it recharges me to have that energy to care for my kids and for other people, especially at my work as a social worker.”
Flores is also grateful she has an amazing circle of friends whom she shares her passion for surfing with.
“With my fellow Filipino surfing friends, we get to surf together and share our culture too.”
“I love the fact that we get to continue to cultivate our Filipino roots all while enjoying life in Australia.”
