How long have you contemplated starting a brand? Why was now the right time to finally start one?
The idea of Meaningful Existence came to me while on my spirit quest in a faraway land back in 1975. I was searching for evidence of a lost, ancient civilization—a utopia where everyone’s life was meaningful. I found evidence that this ancient civilization looked a lot like ours does today, but no one was poor and everyone spent their money at one mega-company that endlessly produced and sold happiness for one and for all…who paid for it. I believe this message resonates now more than ever. I’m on a mission to recreate this society today, and I will. You’ll see. I dare you to not see. Why am I being so confrontational you ask when you aren’t? Confidence.
What truly makes one’s existence meaningful, according to Ezekiel Profit?
It’s Prophet Ezekiel Profit. And the main slogan of Meaningful Existence is “The more you pay, the happier you get.” For starters, you can attain Meaning by buying. I believe that accumulating material possessions is the key to achieving true happiness. By offering a wide range of high quality products, from the emotional baggage tote and candle that smells like wealth, to the weighted blanket designed to replicate my comforting hug, Meaningful Existence provides my disciples with the means to acquire these materialistic symbols of joy. The more they possess, the happier they will be.
Some people may call this a cult. What would you say to those people? How would you describe Meaningful Existence, if it apparently is not a cult?
Meaningful Existence is definitely not a cult. I even wrote a brilliant book called Meaningful Existence Is Not A Cult and its incredible sequel Seriously, Meaningful Existence is For Real Not A Cult, For Real. Oprah was going to put it on her book of the month club list but I had broken up with her the week before that came out and I guess someone chose feelings over what deserved to be there. Her loss if you ask me. Meaningful Existence is the shirt on your back, the sweatshirt on top of the shirt, the slides on your feet, the blanket that tucks you in at night, and, most importantly, the smile on your face. Meaningful Existence is many things, but a cult is not one of them. If you have any suspicions, then I say join us, make a purchase, and find out for yourself. You’re welcome in advance.