MILWAUKEE
Thomas Robert Haebig
March 8, 1941 — May 15, 2023
Our sweet Tom passed away peacefully at the age of 82 after a rich and productive life of fathering, teaching, traveling, caring for his own father, volunteering, working for peace and justice, leading people in song, praying for everyone, praising nature, hosting birthday parties, cooking at Camp Tamarack, competitive card playing, telling jokes, popping in on friends, meandering through backroads, worshiping the many names of God with any and all welcoming communities, and finding beauty and connection in nearly all people and things.
He was beloved father of Holly (David) Haebig Wake; loving grandfather of Elladia, Liviah, and Phineas. He was dear brother of Mark (Julie) and Jeff (the late Joanne) Haebig, and stepfather of Peter Fessenbecker. He was predeceased by his parents, Robert and Frieda Haebig; and his former wife Regina (John) Boehme. He is further survived by other loving relatives and many, many amazing friends. Born and raised in West Bend, Tom contracted polio at age 4 1/2. His mother, Fritzi, was a fierce advocate for children with polio and although throughout his life he would comment on how the complexities of this experience negatively affected his confidence, most would never hear about it because of his upbeat attitude and commitment to helping others.
Tom, who was called ‘Harry’ by his friends in high school, played saxophone, acted in plays and musicals and sang in his high school barber shop quartet. He then attended UW-Whitewater majoring in education. He went on to teach elementary and middle school for many years in various Milwaukee Public Schools and later Wichita, Kansas, for what became an essential life-changing teaching opportunity thanks to his dear friend Joe Ciotti. A most remarkable teacher for decades, he engaged students in field trips along with theatrical and musical experiences. When Holly prepared to sell his house she found piles of thankyou cards from students over the years.
When his mother passed in 1991 he returned to West Bend to care for his father, taking him on many road trip adventures as well as helping him keep the Haebig Dry Cleaning business running until 1996. One of Tom’s most remarkable physical feats was trying to stop the Haebig Dry Cleaning Shop ceiling from leaking like a rain forest. Greg Chmielewski bought and restored the “Shop” converting it into the Idle Hour where people could take time to eat and converse, just like the good old days in West Bend. Tom never let polio limit his joy nor slow him down. In the summer of 1972 at age 31 on a “whim” he decided to take a solo and mostly uncharted two week bicycle trip from West Bend, thru Canada to the East Coast and back — often sleeping in corn fields and in true Tom fashion, was invited to sleep in a police station in Burlington, Ontario, playing cards and chatting all night with the on-duty officers. In a newspaper article written during that stop he was quoted saying, “I’m looking for love wherever I go” and that he hoped the trip would “clear my mind and straighten out my future.”
His daughter, Holly was born 3 years later. Although his marriage with Regi did not last very long, they remained close friends until her death in 2004. Their friendship and love remains a stellar example of healthy and creative co-parenting. Even when he lived almost 800 miles away he would call, write and visit often, taking Holly on adventures to places like Tom Thumb mini-golf course in Waupaca owned by dear friends. Tom was a kind and remarkable person who believed deeply in humanity and humanity showed up for him! He never had a cellphone, often relying on the kindness of strangers, believing in the goodness of people to help him as needed; to lift his wheelchair into his trunk or give him directions.
Things always seemed to work out for Tom because he was in his flow! His commitment to peace and justice was long and fierce; demonstrating for causes all over the country, especially on various corners in conservative West Bend with his fellow Peace Seekers for their weekly “Stand for Peace.” One of his proudest accomplishments was organizing a peace parade through downtown West Bend. Often referred to as Santa Clause by children when he volunteered at the Rivoli movie theater in Cedarburg, Tom had a genuine way of talking with absolutely anyone at anytime about anything at all!! The connections he made were genuine and he passed on this art form to his daughter and grandchildren without effort. Tom was guided by a deep sense of wonder and concern for the well-being of others and the state of our world. His prayer list was LONG and a part of his everyday spiritual practice as was visiting friends and “popping in,” often showing up unannounced. No matter what one was up to, Tom reminded us to make time to slow down and simply BE together.
He took hundreds of day trips to Port Washington to enjoy the lake. He was a master at meandering through the back roads of the country as well as the side streets of the city. He had many favorite “spots” and traveled back to Wichita to visit friends many, many times as well as family in Colorado. His car became his wings especially as post-polio syndrome made it harder and harder for him to walk. Other notable qualities and acts include donating to hundreds of organizations around the world focusing on (but not limited to) improving homelessness, hunger, and climate change. He was an avid haiku creator and letter writer (Christmas cards came perfectly timed in March), read the newspaper daily and cut out inspiring quotes and meaningful articles that he would send to friends and family. He cherished Thanksgivings with the Stocklands / Fosters, watching sports with his best buddy Don, playing cribbage with the Silvers and many others, catching up with his friend Bill D., playing poker with the crew and enjoying the Deboer’s beautiful flower gardens and pets. He got the best hugs from his grandchildren, shared many stages singing with his daughter and rarely missed performances by her, his son-in-law or his grandchildren. He was so proud of their accomplishments in soccer and theater and shared their serious love for Culver’s!
In September of 2019 Holly began visiting Tom weekly and over the next 3 1/2 years began documenting their life together. She became his guardian and co-caretaker greatly supported by his amazing brothers and a fortified circle of love made up of neighbors, friends and family. His love for nature, people, music, sweets, sunlight, back scratches, napping and lovely women remained strong up until the very end of his journey with post-polio and dementia. His colorful wardrobe and white beard was a silent reminder of his creative flair and independent spirit. He will be sorely missed.
The family wishes to thank Tom’s near and far-reaching community of friends and extended family who helped enrich his life over the many interesting miles and chapters he lived. With far too many to name, you know who you are, how you touched him and how he touched your life. Cherish the memories because he sure cherished you. To honor those who helped during Tom’s journey and transition to assisted living and memory care, we would also like to thank Emily from Care Patrol for her patience and knowledge, Chris from RE/MAX for helping sell his beautiful family home and Ken for his tax services and friendship over the years; Segues Senior Move Specialists for making the move so much easier; and literally hundreds of people including medical staff, administrators, activities directors and caregivers who helped us navigate Tom’s final 17 month journey; those include West Bend Froedtert, St. Mary’s Hospital, The Catholic Home, Alexian Village, Harbor Chase, Ameira Orchids and Horizon Hospice Care. Extra special thanks to Margie, Seth, Kathy, Tony, Cassandra, Amanda and Victor.
Please join us for a celebration of Tom’s life! Family will greet friends on Saturday, June 17, from 10:30 a.m. to noon at Feerick Funeral Home, 2025 E. Capitol Drive, Shorewood, WI 53211. A service honoring Tom will take place at noon and a reception celebrating his life will immediately follow. Memorials in Tom’s name may be made to Casa Maria Hospitality House, P.O. Box 05206, Milwaukee, WI 53205, or to Kinship Community Food Center, https://casamariacatholicworker.weebly.com/donate.html.
Feerick Funeral Home, Shorewood, is serving the family.